In her research of trying to figure out shame and vulnerabililty she researched hundreds of people and read many articles. She realizes she could divide the people she studied into two groups, those who felt they had a strong sense of belonging and those who did not. The factor that broke those two groups apart was worthiness. One half had a strong sense of love and belonging because they felt they were worthy of it.
She then only looked at the people who felt worthy and tried to figure out what they had in common. She found that they all had courage to be imperfect, the compassion to be kind to themselves and then to others, and connection as a result of authenticity or being your true self, and they also fully embraced vulnerability.
She also realized that vulnerability is responsible for all the bad, but its also responsible for all the good you feel. People try to numb their vulnerability but when you try to numb your negative emotions you also numb your positive emotions, becoming miserable in the process. You cannot selectively numb.
We make whats uncertain certain, we perfect, we pretend like what we do doesn't have an impact, show your vulnerability, think that you're enough.
Judgments are made on a persons non- verbals, or body language. Animals all over exhibit the same body language for universal accomplishments. They spread arms out when they excel at a physical competition, close themselves in when they feel small.
Non verbals govern how other people think and feel about us.
Do nonverbals govern how we think and feel about ourselves?
High-power gestures lower cortisol levels, increase testosterone, and increase willingness to gamble.
Body poses change our minds
Can power posing for a few minutes really change your life in meaningful ways?
study cases with interviews showed that people who used high position poses for 2 minutes before the interview were more likely to be chosen for the job.
Fake it till' you become it
Dan Pink: The puzzle of motivation
There's a mismatch between what science does, and what business knows.
- Rewards to get work done work, but only in a narrow band of circumstances. When you can see the solution right in front of you and you know what to do and how to get there.
- Those rewards often destroy creativity, thinking "outside the box"
- The secret to high performance isn't rewards and punishment, but the unseen intrinsic drive, the drive to do things out of purpose; because they matter.
How great leaders inspire action
People don't buy what you do, they buy why you do it.
The goal isn't to sell to everyone who needs what you have, but who believe what you believe.